Gratitude

When I’m sitting in that blissful state of gratitude, I find that life just tends to work in beautiful synergy. Things fall into place without me even having to try and synchronicities abound - it’s just maintaining it! All too often I find I can swing like a pendulum between being so grateful I’m moved to tears, and being so apathetic I can’t get out of my slump. There really is no in-between!

This week I’ve been taking the time to analyse my relationship with gratitude. I’ve come to realise that, for me, the level of gratitude I am able to sit in is deeply linked to how accepting I am of myself and where I’m currently at. When I’m too preoccupied with the future, the lack mentality begins to creep in. I can begin to feel resentful and find myself constantly wanting more. “I’ll be happy when…” or “If only I had…” are the most common threads of thought during these times. Living too much for the future just doesn’t work for me. The juxtaposition of my current reality and my “ideal” can make me feel deflated, not inspired. Instead, I have started the practice of looking back on how far I’ve come in those moments where I am experiencing a lack mentality. It’s been hugely beneficial for me to take the time to remember that I would have given everything to be where I am right now a year ago. For me, it helps put my ego back in its place and bring me back to centre.

I’ve also been finding that gratitude, for me, is actually very intrinsically linked to awe. The more I’m out in nature, in places of natural beauty, the more inspired and grateful I become. I like to be reminded of how small I am, of how vast and majestic this planet is. It helps my worries and anxieties to shrink and more readily opens my mind to the state of wonder. And it’s not just being out and surveying the world around me. These feelings of awe could just as easily stem from a beautiful piece of music, the written word, the kindness of a friend, the reminder that ultimately, I’m just passing through.

Gratitude, though it comes readily from nature, music, art or experience, finds its greatest home in people.  

When talking about gratitude, there’s one name that cannot go unmentioned. Naomi has been the hearth and home of my healing. She took me under her wings and has lovingly inspired me to begin to fly. Her gentle nudges that guide me out of my comfort zone, her unwavering faith and belief in me has dared me to start leaping forwards, and by some miracle, given me the seed of faith that I can, and will, succeed. 

The most beautiful thing about this love and support is that it’s not exclusive to me. She extends this energy to everyone. I’ve never met someone who truly wants everyone to thrive. What a blessing to have met you, work with you and, most importantly, that I get to call you my friend. There are quite literally no words for how much I deeply love and appreciate you. Thank you for gently encouraging me to believe in my worth, and for allowing me the opportunity to follow my dreams. I would not be half as happy and fulfilled as I am right now if I hadn’t have met you. You inspire me each and every day. Thank you. For everything. 

To my beautiful best friend, who has stuck by me through thick and thin, who is the purest soul and, I am certain, the only reason I agreed to reincarnate. To the angel who has been my rock for a decade, who has welcomed me in all of my forms, who loves me in spite of my many shadows. Who has helped me to weather my darkest storms and who has lovingly accepted my transformation from spoilt princess to massive hippy. My soul loves yours so completely. It is a privilege and an honour to call you my best friend. Earth is far better for having you in it.

For the man who taught me how to love. Who made being in a relationship safe and an exciting adventure all at once. Whose influence spans decades and formed parts of me that still exist to this day. I will be forever grateful that I got to share so many years of my life by your side. You have been one of life’s greatest blessings. A piece of my heart will always be yours.  

For the man who stole my heart and broke me into a thousand pieces, who awakened depths of feelings that I didn’t even know were possible. You have given me the greatest gift of all. You showed me who I am. Who I truly am. My greatest light, my darkest depths and the many shades of grey in between. Through you, I have been able to place my feet upon the path I was always meant to tread. You picked me up and carried me there. You have enabled me to look frankly in the mirror at parts of myself I have been avoiding my whole life. You have gifted me truth and the life I only ever dared to dream about before meeting you. You are, and always will be, my greatest gift. No one has taught me more about life, myself and love than you have. You have more than lived up to your namesake – you have shone a light on my darkness and paved a way towards a much brighter future. And, for that, I have no amount of words to express my gratitude.