The Shadow
We are told that we ought to repress this darker side of self. Don’t show the world your scars - keep your shadows hidden in the darkness where they belong. However, in my opinion, our shadow can be our greatest teacher and humbler.
Just like we do in our Earthly world, we all have a shadow that lives with us. It is etched and carved from prior experience, the society we inhabit and any past life karma that we bring with us for healing in this incarnation. It flares up when we feel threatened, triggered and rejected. It brings up the lower vibrational energies within us, and just as we see depicted in The Devil in Tarot, keeps us bound and tied like a puppet on a string. We can feel the rise of the shadow overwhelm us like a wave, causing us to feel as if we are floundering and drowning under the weight of these repressed emotions.
Instead of attempting to avoid these less favourable aspects of self, we need to observe the shadow. We need to greet it and ask it to show us where we are wounded. Where are we raw and writhing in pain so that we can begin to do the most difficult thing in the world: face it. We can only do this when we accept that there is a shadow, that there is something that needs to be faced, to be healed. When we ignore this side of ourselves, when we refuse to feel and live through that pain we are, in fact, invalidating our feelings and not showing up for ourselves. We are not giving ourselves the love we need and deserve.
In my experience, the only way to deal with our shadow is through complete acceptance and love. This side of ourselves that we often do not like to see, let alone let others see, is simply the scared child that lives within each one of us. Those triggers, those overwhelming emotions and anger, the passive aggressive comments or the torturous thoughts we subject ourselves to, these are all just reflections of an inner child who is being neglected.
The only way we can feel safe in facing this most difficult of reflections, is by love. Love allows for mistakes. It allows you the space to be human. It forgives and nurtures. It is through love that you can grab your inner child’s hand and say “I see you.” I hear your pain and I know you do not want to show up in these patterns. When you can begin to see this side of yourself through the lens of a wounded and scared child it becomes easier to begin the process of reparenting self and embracing your shadow.
We can often feel a huge amount of shame attached to our shadow, but I urge you to shift that perspective. Believe me, I know that’s much easier said than done. From personal experience, when you’re in that space it can feel incredibly hard to pull yourself back out. I’ve been there. I’ve wallowed, shamed and let myself be submerged in my darker sides. It’s important to remember, these times are always temporary. You can rest assured that brighter times are just around the corner. As English theologian Thomas Fuller said, ‘the darkest hour is before the dawn.’ Of that I can promise. Try to see your shadow as a compass towards healing and growth. Let it be a map that guides you to the space where you need to love yourself a little more deeply. Your shadow is the part of you that longs to feel held and understood. Give yourself the space to do that, and watch the healing begin.
